Sunday, September 14, 2008

I'm Declaring War on Dumbfuckistan


My official declaration of war, made just moments ago:

From my base camp in America, before it's too late, I announce with solemn heart, weary mind and indomitable spirit, that I do hereby declare a state of war with the place in the human mind known as Dumbfuckistan. This decision is neither made lightly, nor in haste. Indeed, this state of affairs has been building for eight long years now, and that slow percolation only recently resulted in the pressure needed to set off an all out explosion, a desparate need for action. It is indeed a desparate state of affairs that the country is on the precipice of renouncing even it's lofty words of attempting to be interested in equality of opportunity. So we have come to this; religion used as a blunt instrument of force to secure a future for well to do Republicans. Identity politics used to divide and conquer a low income, low information lower class programmed to think in Balkanized terms of self-disenfranchisement. I am thus consumed with a righteous hatred. No, I don't hate the average Dumbfuckistani, who is for the most part a passive, grazing creature, sometimes even amiable, but nonetheless more dangerous in its ignorance than any other beast on the Plains or in the mountain forests. My hatred is reserved for the state of mind fog that the Dumbfuckistani remains in, even after being painfully raped and violently mugged for nearly a decade. It is this that must be eradicated, and given no quarter. For desparate times require desparate actions, and I must take up mental and moral arms against the virulent corruption, environmental destruction, torture, state terror, perverted Christianity, bald-faced lies, incompetence due to cronyism, war profiteering, etc., etc.,that the Dumbfuckistanis have allowed to fester for 8 years too long. This is war, a total war, an all-consuming war. It is war that has been fought before in this country. It is a war recognized by the Founders as altogether necessary when times require. Now is one of those times, and I am confident in the victory...of good over evil!

2 comments:

J.R. Bernard said...

Instead of declaring WAR on said territories, what do you think of having people pass an intelligence test in order to gain the right to vote, one based on their ability to critically think and another to gauge their ability to look at national and world issues impartially.

Just food for thought.

And by the way, I was born and raised in one of the American territories.

Ernesto said...

What I meant by "war", would include aggressive education of the Dumbfuckistanis. An important point that can't be stressed enough is that Dumbfuckistan is not so much a place, but a state of mind. The "mind fog" must be lifted in order for the Dumbfuckistani to be liberated. I believe that current events have helped greatly; the cumulative effect of the last 8 years is finally having the effect of making even some of the more entrenched members of the tribe realize that they need to adapt or go extinct.

Of course, the true believers would prefer extinction to change. This is part of the natural order of things.

Thanks for your comment.